I HAVE A CRUSH ON THIS GUY
I've notice how I have a tendency to blow things out of proportion. Maybe it's because I'm single and a hopeless romantic, or maybe it's just because I'm a true Gemini.
The truth is that I’m totally not interested in that which is boring, stark, plain and without mystery in this world of romantic endeavours. I'm very bad at casually dating and even worse at pretending to play games. I crave all that is exciting, fun, and yes, those feeling that usually cause butterfly in my stomach.
Passion is what sustains me; boredom will send me running faster than a commitment-phoebe from a clingy boyfriend. I'm not the clingy type, but I do read into things with all the obsessive know-how of someone who constantly falls head over heels for the other person's potential when it comes to dating and relationships.
I love that feeling you get every time you meet someone new, the situation is positively rife with sparkling potential. You lock eyes across the room in a crowded room, or at a party; you get introduced by a friend of a friend who swears up and down you two must have met somewhere before; you run into someone cute on public transportation; you actually experience that unicorn of the dating world, a promising first date.
It's exciting, it's fresh, it's more than a little overwhelming most of the time.
So to cut a long story short I meet this self-proclaimed "Nice Guy," a couple of weeks back with an intriguing character and a good taste in music, his that guy I’ve got just enough in common with that it could possibly keep me interested, but not enough that I'll be bored. Which, trust me, is very rare indeed.
What now? Am I supposed to hold back or something?
I did an extensive reading on what to do when you crushing on a guy, and lo and behold Google and some of my girlfriend had some pretty interesting advice.
1. Make It Casual
One of the first advice I got from a dear friend was keep it casual. If you're feeling intimidated about asking someone out on a date, don't be. Instead, see it as grabbing eats or checking out an event with a friend. If you treat it like asking a pal out with you, the pressure seems a little less all-encompassing.
2. Ask Offhandedly
Say something along the lines of, “Are you hungry? There's this great pizza place I know,” or “Man this has been a long day. Want to grab something to eat after work?” When phrased that way, it'd be hard to say no. It just sounds so friendly!
3. Use Your Conversation To Set Up The Groundwork
One comment I read on an article by a lady called Jessica, she says if it happens that you're talking with your crush right now and are psyching yourself up to get enough courage to make the next move. Make things easier on yourself by moving the conversation in a direction that will open up an invite naturally. Ask him what he was up to last weekend, and then suggest something similar for this Friday. For example, if he went out for drinks with his buddies, ask if he wants to try out a new place you sow down town, or if he spent it watching movies, invite him to that interesting theatre in Maboneng Johannesburg. It'll seem natural, and not forced.
4. If You're Really Nervous, Invite Him Out With Friends
One great advice I come cross says, if you feel like you can't quite stomach asking him out on a one on one date yet, ask if he'd like to hang out with friends. It'll come across as if you're just extending an invite for a fun Saturday night, and if he'd like to spend some more time getting to know you, chances are he'll take you up on your offer. And your friends can act as a buffer against those awkward first date pauses and get the get-to-know-you questions out of the way.
5. Ask Him Out In Person
As I was sitting and contemplating sending him a text message. My girlfriend quickly said “No, put down that phone. I know it's a lot easier to quickly type out the question, close your eyes, and hit send, but it's so much easier to get a yes when you ask him in person”. Not only does it make you look like you've got that George Clooney levels of confidence, but he won't be able to take five minutes to carefully word an excuse to bow out. Instead he'll just go with knee jerk instinct: Saying yes. Trust me on this one, it's the way to go hahaha. And that’s why I’ve got awesome friends.
As I act super excited about the advices. I plan to slap a big smile on my face, ask him out with some oomph in my voice, and move my hands around like i just thought of a brilliant new plan for the weekend.