Loving Is Healing

A few days ago, I wrote a letter…
“Here I am, mesmerised by your smile. The sound of your laughter fills up holes within me. The light that sparkles in your eyes sends infinite light to my dark places. Seeing you whole, makes me whole. Your joy unknowingly teaches me how to have joy in this confused world. You make things make sense for me; you make things beautiful. You heal me.”

That letter held honest feelings of my heart. We often say a lot about what love does to the other person. We have amazing examples of how selfless people have helped improve the quality of life for others because of the love they had, the love they gave. We have noticed the change in someone’s attitude and outlook on life the moment they are surrounded by pure love. We have witnessed the shaping of history, because people chose love. We have seen and experienced peace because people had the courage to forgive, because people loved. We have seen bruises healed and families mended because people chose love. Love has done, love does, and love will eternally do well to the receiver. But what does it do to the giver? What does it do to the lover?

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I have found in my experience that my greatest joy comes not from being loved, but from loving. Not from receiving, but from giving. Giving even in the direst circumstances. Giving even when your ego says no. Giving even when it seems painful to do so. When I reach a point where I overcome reasons not to love, whether it is because of being wronged, because of pride, because of the fear of getting hurt, or because of my own pain, whatever the reason not to love, when I look past it; and choose to love anyway, there is so much light, love and healing that comes into me. I see that person in a new light; and my love for them is strengthened in a way that it becomes eternal. It becomes unbreakable. It becomes the “against all odds” type of love. It not only changes them in my eyes, but it changes me; it changes me for the better. This doesn’t mean excusing wrong behaviour, correction is and will always be necessary. However, correction is not the absence of love, it is the presence of it.

We have many types of relationships in our lives. From family, to friendship, to significant others. Whatever the type, shape or form of our relationships, may I suggest that the beginning, middle and the end of them all, be love. It is a commitment that requires practice, courage and at times, trial and error; but it is a commitment that leads to a life well lived. I have had the pleasure of loving many in my lifetime. That love, although imperfect, is one that I do not regret and one that I strive to improve upon. 

My letter concluded…
“Loving you is not a task, it is a complete joy. It is so easy, so beautiful. You make me believe that everything works out for good. All that I put in, is insignificant to what I am getting, to the person I am becoming, because of you. Loving you heals me.”