STAY

Stay. Don't run. Don't leave. Stay. Just stay. When your feet are carrying you out the door, and your hands have reached for the handle and your eyes have turned away, choose to stay. Choose to believe whatever reason is still keeping you there. They say the hardest thing to do is walk away, but sometimes, the hardest thing to do is to stay. Because when you choose to stay, you're choosing hope. And you cannot choose hope without putting your heart on the line. Without putting your feelings and the last of the strength that you have left on the line. You cannot choose hope without bravery. You cannot choose to stay without courage. So stay, just stay.
 
I see the packed bags. That's great. That's courageous too. It takes a lot to finally pack those bags, and decide to leave. No-one wants to and no one should ever have to tolerate nonsense. Just make sure those bags are not packed out of fear. Make sure that they are not packed because things have gotten 'too hard.' Make sure that they are not packed because you are giving up. Make sure that they are not packed because you don't want someone else to pack theirs first. Make sure that they are not packed because you don't believe in yourself; because you don't trust the Lord. If you're going to pack, pack for the right reasons. Do not pack because you're being a coward. That is not who you are, that is not what you do. If there is a reason, even if it is just one; if there is just one good enough reason to stay, then choose to stay. Choose courage. Choose bravery. Choose hope. Choose to stay.

I have done a lot of packing and walking away in my lifetime. (sure my lifetime hasn't really been that long for me to call it a 'lifetime,' but let's just pretend…) It's safe. It's secure. It keeps my heart in one piece. There have been moments where I stayed because I was forced to stay. And there have been moments, this moment, where I have to choose to stay. Where my choice is independent of anyone and all else. Where my reasoning, where my body and where every part of me wants to and is ready and cannot wait to leave. But the Lord, the Almighty, all- knowing, all-powerful, all-seeing is telling me to stay. Knowing He cannot force me to, I have to choose to stay. I have to, on my own, say I am choosing what will be hard, over what is easy; because the Lord sees hard as better.
 
There will be times, more often than we realise, that we will be called upon to stay. Stay and read your scriptures, stay and get that degree, stay and work on a fading dream, stay and believe in the hope and renewal of a breaking relationship, and a breaking family, stay on holy ground when the opposite seems so tempting, stay and believe the Lord, stay and trust the Lord. I don't know how my story will end, but I know that Moses walked on even as he saw the red sea blocking their way of escape. He walked on and trusted the Lord. He didn't pack his bags, he stayed. That's what I choose; I choose to stay.
 
So here it is. My dream. My energy. My heart. Here they all are. And here I am, putting them on the line. I choose to stay. I hope you do too. I hope you choose the good over the bad. I hope you choose to stay.