What Happened To Us As woman?

I wonder how many Karabo Mokoena’s are there. And I wonder how many of us have, since the beginning of the year, been killed; chopped into tiny pieces and burned as stubble at the hands of the man who claimed to love us. I wonder how many of us continue to stay when every inch of our body is screaming at us to pack our bags and run, literally, for our lives. How many of us hear that voice but somehow feel paralysed by fear to even attempt to move a finger?!

What happened to us as woman? When did we get here?! How did we get here?!  Who told us that we aren’t worthy; that we deserve all the terrible things that life has to “offer”? Who killed our sense of self worth? And When did we start believing all these lies?! When did we start believing and accepting that we aren’t worthy of love, happiness, and respect?!

How is it that we have made it a norm to be afraid to walk up an down any road of any street at anytime of the day! When did it become a norm to be afraid of every man that looks your way and that to survive means walking around with a pepper spray in your bag while looking over your shoulder every two seconds. I am trying to figure out for how long are we going to sit with our fears and continue to allow this brutality to continue. Until we’re extinct, maybe. How long do we plan on sitting in silence, quietly teaching our girls that they don’t matter; that their precious little lives don’t matter and that their sole purpose in this life is to fear and appease the big bad monster? For how long are we going to stay in the darkest corner silently teaching our sons that woman is nothing but a worthless grown toy for him to kick and slap around, to scream at, push and shove, curse and pull at; man handle, abuse, torture and kill? 

Women, how is it that you keep apologizing for breathing?! This life isn’t for the fainted heart. We need to stand tall so that the weaker and more fragile part of us can have someone to look up to. So that they can have someone to pull them up and out of the pit that they have been thrown in and let them know that they too are of worth; that they are worthy of respect and every good thing life has to offer. You can’t change a person but you can change yourself. You can change your circumstances. You can walk out of a relationship that isn’t working for you anymore. Yes, you can and you are able. Nevermind what he has told you; his pinion of you doesn’t make you anything. Because All he has done Is project his insecurities in you. You as worthy, smart, beautiful and lovable.

Yes, it is much easier said than done, but just do it. If not for yourself then for those who truly love and value your worth. You can and you are able. Yes, you can make it and you will make it. There is always a better tomorrow.