In one of her latest talks she delivered for an audience at Mindvalley academy,  Merisa Peer a  therapist for the UK's rich and famous proclaims that feeling not good enough is not an uncommon thing. She actually deems it to be "the biggest disease affecting humanity". She says most people are dealing with a lot of baggage from their formative years.  As human's we establish beliefs about a number of things and we tend to stick to them, even if those beliefs aren't serving our highest good.  From the age 5, kids may start to believe they aren’t loved and or aren’t good enough to be loved. Their surroundings  and circumstances may perpetuate the belief. Parents and teachers seem to be the biggest contributors at this age where most beliefs  are primarily imprinted.  

As an adult: what might make you think you are not enough?

It's different for different people. Depending on what kind of childhood one had, both parents present, the parents relationship with one another,  and their relationship with the children. If a child feels secure and loved, they tend to grow into their own skin with comfort, although this is not gospel; it's true for most.  Marisa Peer had a squillionire of a man as a client this one time, he owned a great deal of property in London.  He had come to her because he had a drinking problem,  and no matter what he did, he just couldn't stop. She probed a little into his past and found  that he grew up poor, and he did not receive affection from either of his parents. At the age of 7 he felt as if they actually hated him. He  held the belief that he was incapable of being loved , how could anyone love him he thought- if his own parents did not. 

Merisa explained to him that it was easier for him at that moment to say, “no one loves me because I'm a drunk". If he were to successfully quit drinking and still find that no one loves him, he would have to admit that he was "unlovable" and that would hurt.  He was subconsciously living out his belief that he wasn't good enough for love. I believe we play it out differently, as we choose our scripts. 

The battle field: 
Many of us feel like We have to earn our self-worth, at times we feel like we need a huge pay check, slimmer waistline, lofty home and a promotion. Sometimes we may even feel like we need to get good grades, date or be seen with the hottest person in your arm in order to feel like we are good enough.  Like Merisa Peer's client at the age of seven he thought, if he was more clever, got better grades, and acted like the perfect child, his parents would love him more. So he accumulated so much wealth, but he couldn’t change their attitude towards him, he couldn’t make them love him. 


Eckhart Tolle suggested "detach from ego and focus on your essence — the deeper being within — your true self — perhaps even your soul. Let go of the external and focus on how you really are inside. You are already perfect, lovable and enough just the way you are"

Could one ever feel like they are enough as Eckhart Tolle put it? I think the difference between being enough and being perfect should not be over looked. Self-acceptance, self-love will come once we understand that no one expects us to gain perfection (not now) we can focus on being full of life and being fulfilled. Another thing is we cannot force anyone into doing something they don’t want to, even if we could, there would be little if any satisfaction in knowing that it isn’t genuine. We should rather focus on loving the one person we can coax into a lifetime of love, you.

What Marisa Peer does for her clients is she writes "I am enough" on their mirrors on their smartphones send as pop up notifications and  she sends them texts reminding them that they are enough. We can also do that. Say it out loud even. Work on it, until you get it. The mind will do whatever you want it to.  You deserve love, success, prosperity and all things  wonderful. You matter, how you feel matters, if not to everyone else it matters to you, and to our creator. There will be instances where parents don’t understand the value their children possess, they might not even be in a position to grasp and appreciate the gift they have been given. In such circumstances it is essential  that the "grown child" (adult)  understands that they were not created by their earthly parents, yes they had a role  in it, "you came through them not from them". Your Father in Heaven, he loves you. He is supporting you in your ways, He knows your worth. He has even promised you mansions in His Kingdom. 

 There are those that have it together, those among us who know and  are secure in knowing who they are. They have a conviction that  they are more than enough, they know their worth.  In that  case,  those around you, you might have children of your own, nieces and nephews, younger siblings, colleagues or employees that need to know that they "are enough". Pass the message on, it might impact someone in a positive way.